CD reviews

Metalica vs. Slayer
I grew up on RIDE THE LIGHTNING. It was the first Metalica album I got and I got it in 7th grade. I discarded it after a year. I have now been reintroduced (thank you steve). RIDE THE LIGHTNING kicks my ass everytime I listen to it. For Whom the Bells Toll has wicked bass in the begin. I always remembered reading about their riffing, and how it was supposed to be quality riffing. This is true. James Hetfield can't keep it light. His guitar playing is so confident and meaty it could only come from somebody who practices his ass off with his band. Which brings me to my next point. Metalica is hard workin metal. They are totaly tight and nobody can say anything to them because they are a better band than anybody else. That is the mentality. It works for them.
On the other hand Slayer is totally a party band. Its like "lets worship satan so that we can do chicks and cocaine and get all licquered up everynight." I mean, they have two lead guitarists. IT's 100% decadence and they roll around in it like a sticky gooey syrupy sundae. When the singer starts shrieking its like some sort of hairy vampire bat sitting on a red velvet throne doing opera diva and shaking its open raised hand along with the intense vibrato. Slayer are sweet and totally nothing but fun.
When Metalica and Slayer fight Metalica beats up Slayer but Slayer smears all their own blood on all of Metalica's shit when they're not looking and then goes and parties.


Gossip

I heard that once a year they have this thing on tv where the lakers win the national championship. It wasn't always this way but rick flair sold his soul to the devil so that they could win like that. Did you know that Steve told his mom to "suck it" when she said that she didn't like the sick L. I heard that suzanne shit an ape when she got to detriot and found out they don't speak french there. So also there was this other thing about Lyle Vanderbeek. I heard that he was opening a thrift store called "Little Shop of Horrors" and he was going to sell drugs there. DId you know that Nick and Asher stayed up all night drawing pictures of canada. I heard that after nick went to bed asher hid them all under his mattress
6/13/02

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